Awkward

In an extremely awkward season, that is the best descriptive term i can find for now. Holding in tension many extremities is extremely awkward for me.

I want to be inspired! but somehow no readings,no books, no conversations seem to be able to inspire me in the very least! May be interesting, may be new, but no whiff of new breeze across my soul.

I am excited for the year to end! but i do not know what next year have in store, and i am apprehensive. Unlike this year, i am alone,free and all; Next year, i am still alone but with bills i have to think about... the pressure is building.

I want to walk out victoriously and in faith of a situation that i have been in for far too long. but part of me, honestly, still hopes that something good will come out of it, explaining the unwillingness to turn and walk away. This is the toughest situation yet with the simplest options for me to choose from.

I do not want to lose the zest for life, passion for things i love, joy from deep within. What to do? What to do?