Heart Of Father in Heaven
Had a revelation this evening on my way to dear bro's place for dinner and chillout. Was asking God to open my eyes to see what He is doing in my llife at this point with the things that He has put me through and still going through.
I must say it was really a journey of agony, to the point i was all tired out when i reach punggol and half full in stomach.
"God, please tell me what You want me to learn, what You want me to see or know through this period of time. I cannot stand it anymore, i can 'kill' people with the amount of frustrations thats in me now." As i board the train, the start of my an hour long journey, there the revelations began.
"This is the heart of a Father. Love till the point of agony and pain. Many times in your life, I could have sent my wrath, pass my judgement; since times of old, I could have done it, but I chose to love. To the point it hurts, I still chose to love."
That was the revelation that turned my heart upside down. He has chosen me, He chose to love. I cannot tell you how high, how wide, how deep, how far i knew of His love for me, but i can tell you it really hurts. I had an iceberg taste of how God feels when i sinned against the Lord by disobeying Him, when i know the decision im going to make is not what He wants for my life, neither the best, in fact silly too. I had a glimpse of how God's heart is like when im being stubborn to the core, fighting with God for my rights, wanting my own ways, going my own ways. At the same time, on the other hand, I tasted of His wondrous, high and far, wide and deep love for me. Tears came but could not cry cos im on the train! *arrgh*
When i reached, the end of my train ride, blasting into my ears are the words "oceans will part, nations come at the whisper of Your call", i ceased fighting, cos He has shown me His heart of a Father. Its as tough for me cos im a sinner saved by grace, but its a necessary journey for me to know of His Father's heart in a deeper measure. Yes, He loves me. Yes, He can move mountains. Cos He loves me to the point of not just pain and agony but to the point of death on the Cross so that i can be reconciled back to Him.
As i write, my heart is still in torrents cos of what He said. I still need His intervention. His presence.
I must say it was really a journey of agony, to the point i was all tired out when i reach punggol and half full in stomach.
"God, please tell me what You want me to learn, what You want me to see or know through this period of time. I cannot stand it anymore, i can 'kill' people with the amount of frustrations thats in me now." As i board the train, the start of my an hour long journey, there the revelations began.
"This is the heart of a Father. Love till the point of agony and pain. Many times in your life, I could have sent my wrath, pass my judgement; since times of old, I could have done it, but I chose to love. To the point it hurts, I still chose to love."
That was the revelation that turned my heart upside down. He has chosen me, He chose to love. I cannot tell you how high, how wide, how deep, how far i knew of His love for me, but i can tell you it really hurts. I had an iceberg taste of how God feels when i sinned against the Lord by disobeying Him, when i know the decision im going to make is not what He wants for my life, neither the best, in fact silly too. I had a glimpse of how God's heart is like when im being stubborn to the core, fighting with God for my rights, wanting my own ways, going my own ways. At the same time, on the other hand, I tasted of His wondrous, high and far, wide and deep love for me. Tears came but could not cry cos im on the train! *arrgh*
When i reached, the end of my train ride, blasting into my ears are the words "oceans will part, nations come at the whisper of Your call", i ceased fighting, cos He has shown me His heart of a Father. Its as tough for me cos im a sinner saved by grace, but its a necessary journey for me to know of His Father's heart in a deeper measure. Yes, He loves me. Yes, He can move mountains. Cos He loves me to the point of not just pain and agony but to the point of death on the Cross so that i can be reconciled back to Him.
As i write, my heart is still in torrents cos of what He said. I still need His intervention. His presence.
posted by lisalian | 9:36 PM
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